#55: Take It or Leave It
#55: Take It or Leave It
A weekly drop of things I love
Take It or Leave It is a weekly highlight series for paid subscribers, but this installment is free for everyone. Pretty much every Friday, I share a quick hit of things I’m loving.
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If not, all good. Take it or leave it ✌️
Two quick writing reminders before we get into it:
- & I published the first part of our conversation on bell hooks, friendship, and more. Part 2 is coming soon. I’m deeply moved by everyone who has read our first installment so far and generously shared what it meant to them. I especially appreciated this comment from :
“Reading this was a deep exhale. Like entering into a refuge. Thank y'all. I love your work separately, and I am so giddy witnessing your support and care for one another.”
Dancing in the Dark, Pt. 1
I posted the full video from my first-ever live essay reading. I shared “Not Another Math Lesson” – a piece about my grandfather and what he’s taught me about balance. Tap below to watch. I hope you enjoy and share it with someone special!
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Something from YouTube
The perfect crossover event. Sabrina Carpenter performing a country cover of Chappell Roan’s “Good Luck, Babe!” Happy Pride 🏳️🌈
Songs I played
Man, what a fun music week. We’ll get into the obvious music thing that happened. More on that later. But NxWorries (Anderson .Paak & Knxwledge) blessed us with a new album. The Tove Lo EP is really good, too! Also, I’m still working through Fana Hues’ new album, but I loved a lot of what I’ve heard so far, so I’ll definitely be coming back to that.
I gotta say - I’m really enjoying putting these playlists together each week. I already feel like I’ve listened to way more new music this year than I did last year. Thanks for breaking me out of the algorithm.
A podcast I listened to
For the Noname Book Club this month, I’m reading Carvell Wallace’s Another Word for Love. Brittany Luse recently had Wallace on NPR’s It’s Been a Minute and interviewed him about the book. One of the quotes from the first part of Wallace’s book that has really stuck with me is:
“Everything Black people made was so beautiful, so absolutely impeccable. I found us gorgeous. Every day someone tries to teach me that we are ugly. Every day I have to remember that we are not.”
I’ve been sitting with this quote throughout the week, especially with Juneteenth. More to come on how I’ve witnessed the beauty of Black people this week, but I’ll say this — we are gorgeous. We are magnificent. I love us.
Something I read
Earlier this week, I finished my favorite fiction book of the year up to this point: Sonora Reyes’ The Lesbiana’s Guide to Catholic School. I’ve had this book on my list for a while and finally made some time to read it—and I’m so thankful I did.
The book is Reyes’ debut novel, which tells the story of a queer Mexican American girl, 16-year-old Yamilet Flores, navigating a mostly white, wealthy Catholic school.
As I read about Yamilet trying to make sense of this new world, I felt most seen in my experience as one of the only Black kids at my predominantly white Christian high school. Yamilet finds herself trying to figure out how to fit in when she already stands out. And along the way, she finds her people and learns more about the ones closest to her.
It’s a beautiful story with pockets of immense joy throughout. I’m pretty sure I quietly wept through the whole last part of the book. I’d absolutely recommend checking it out if you’re a sucker for a coming-of-age story.
A TikTok video I watched
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I couldn’t wait for Tommy Richman’s “DEVIL IS A LIE” to drop so I could hit the Love Don’t Cost a Thing dance to it. I love seeing Black men having fun dancing, which brings us to our final discussion for today…
Something I keep thinking about
On Juneteenth, Kendrick Lamar hosted a ‘Ken & Friends’ show called the Pop Out, referencing the line from his Drake diss mega hit “Not Like Us” where he raps, “Sometimes you gotta pop out and show n---as.”
And he did. Kendrick showed the world what felt like genuine friendships, expressed through Black men on stage smiling and dancing together for all to see. Honestly, this might hurt Drake more than any punchline.
A big theme in Kendrick’s diss tracks was the lack of trusted relationships in Drake’s life. For Kendrick to be surrounded by his people—some of whom Drake has interacted with over the years—as they joyfully frolick to six plays of “Not Like Us,” that might be the most fatal blow of all.
In celebrating Black boy joy, I would be remiss not to acknowledge how some of these boys become men who harm women and girls and enable abuse in their circles and industries. From the platforming of noted abuser Dr. Dre as a West Coast elder to Kendrick’s own accusations of domestic violence, we tend to forget the women who are harmed as we celebrate the men who harmed them.
And while I acknowledge this as soul-crushing, I can’t lie to you and say I didn’t feel something watching all those Black men dancing on stage. And I dream of a world where we dance in our healing and wholeheartedness, and not merely as an escape from our harm.
Every Juneteenth, I see us express anguish about white people getting the day off and what white people should be doing and how white people better pay up. And yes, that’s all valid. And still, I wish we would decenter whiteness from our understanding of Black existence.
The everyday beauty of Blackness, especially on Juneteenth, is seeing my people do what they need to do to be and become. I see my people writing and smelling flowers and not letting that job steal their joy and feeling what they need to feel and making themselves & others laugh and texting their homies they love them and reading and eating what they like to eat and watching tennis and and and…
I love seeing my people alive. I want more of us to live. I want all of us to experience our aliveness as fully as we can. At the end of a recent essay, I wrote:
“I want to dance with my n---as. The n---as like us. The n---as that believe we can be more than the lessons we’ve been taught and instructions we’ve been handed. The n---as that care. The n---as that know they can fly.”
We’re not a perfect people. But I believed it when Carvell Wallace said that he “found us gorgeous,” that everything we made was “so beautiful.” I can’t worry about what white people are doing on Juneteenth when I’m so enamored with the beauty of how Black people live, how we dance together. And even how we fly.
Sometimes you gotta pop out and show n---as.
Loving the playlist!!
Thank you for mentioning the Dr. Dre part. it is so not sitting well with me.