#65: Take It or Leave It
A weekly drop of things I love
Take It or Leave It is a weekly highlight series for paid subscribers, but this installment is free for everyone. Pretty much every Friday, I share a quick hit of things I’m loving.
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If not, all good. Take it or leave it ✌️
Last week, I took the week off from sending Take It or Leave It because there was way too much happening. I’ll get into some of it later in the newsletter. But earlier this week, Elizabeth and I celebrated three years of marriage!
It still doesn’t feel like it’s been three years. Shorter and longer at the same time. And it’s been beautiful to witness how our love continues to take new shapes. We’re not the people we were on our wedding day, and somehow we’re still us.
On our anniversary, I was looking back at one of my earlier newsletter pieces, a collab with
on Bon Iver’s “8 (Circle),” and I held onto this line:“Wherever Elizabeth and I were side by side, hand in hand, I knew I’d be exactly where I needed to be.”
I talk a lot about home—and for me, no one feels like home more than Elizabeth.
"You fulfilled your promise"
The walls in Grandma T’s living room are covered with pictures of all of us. Mish-mashed together, somehow finding a way for everyone to fit.
For my latest newsletter essay, I wrote about surprising my grandma with a book of my writings. It was my one goal this year. The book wouldn’t be for sale. Just something I wanted to make because I knew she wanted me to make it.
In making this book, I thought about all the things we’re supposed to want to do as writers. Get a byline in a major publication. Write a book. Even better if it’s a bestseller. Go on book tour. Write another book.
And I’m not trying to diminish those goals. Obviously, they’re massive accomplishments. But mostly, I want you to know it’s okay if those aren’t your goals. One day, maybe they will be. Maybe they won’t. And that’s okay.
Maybe it’s enough just to write something for yourself. Maybe your bestseller list is writing something for your people.
Whatever your goals are, I hope you do what you want to do. Write whatever you want to write. Honor yourself and those who invite you to keep returning to the page.
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Something from YouTube
Across any league, A’ja Wilson played some of the best basketball we’ve ever seen this season. So, it was no surprise she was named the second unanimous MVP in WNBA history, winning her third career MVP award. And in true A’ja Wilson form, she celebrated with her people, her teammates, by recognizing them all one by one.
A’ja tells her teammates how, that morning, she was thinking about something she could do to thank them at the end of the season and had the idea to write letters to each of them.
“I guess God wants me to share with you guys in person,” she cried.
“I cannot thank you all enough,” said Wilson. “I hope you guys understand how much you mean to me. I hope you guys know that this trophy is nothing without y’all.”
Our accomplishments are achieved with the support of the people who helped us get there, the ones who held us down when we could’ve easily lost our way. This is a beautiful recognition of that, one I’m happy we get to witness.
Songs I played
Two weeks’ worth of listening right here. And y’all, there was so much to listen to. TDE’s newest signee Alemeda dropped her FK IT EP. Future is Future-ing on MIXTAPE PLUTO. New Orion Sun album. Fousheé dropped a new project. We’ve been eating good. Also, I went back and listened to SWV’s New Beginning album for the first time. We got a Kal Banx collab with Smino & Buddy. New Maxo Kream & Tyler, The Creator. NEW BON IVER. Bro, just get into this playlist and let me know what you’re loving. There’s a lot to choose from. Almost 70 songs. You’re welcome.
A podcast I listened to
Before Kal Banx dropped “HOP OUT CHO FEELINS,” his newest song with Smino & Buddy, I didn’t register who he was until Koku told me how stacked his catalog was. Without realizing it, Kal Banx was already one of my favorite producers with credits on “Persuasive” by Doechii, “Matinee” & “No L’s” by Smino, and ScHoolboy Q’s “THank god 4 me.” After watching his Boiler Room set, I couldn’t get enough. This interview, which is two parts, explores Kal Banx’s origin story, how Baby Keem taught him to get weirder, and a funny story about ScHoolboy Q comparing him to Lil Jon. I recommend giving it a listen then watching this:
Something I read
For Hyphen,
wrote about valuing our art beyond the financial benefits that may never come:“Yes, relying on the economic, capitalistic model of financial value is the default, but we have to find other ways of valuing our art in a world that constantly delegitimises it, if we are going to continue to create.”
We were taught to fantasize about writing careers in a world that doesn’t exist anymore. As this work has become less lucrative, we’ve been forced to examine why we do it in the first place and what our writing practices must look like if book deals are less accessible and article rates don’t match the work that goes into them.
This is why I write to build a body of work I’m proud of. This is why I made a book for my grandma I have no intentions of selling. Honoring myself and my people is what keeps me returning to the page—even if it’s not good capitalism.
On “3333,” Chance the Rapper reflects on playing for small crowds at different points during his career and some of the pushback he got from his own team for choosing to headline the Minnesota State Fair last month instead of a larger show.
In the chorus, Chance raps:
“My hands up in the air
Lot of these days I just don't care
I got a lot of things I've got to share
For anybody out there willing to hear”
Beyond monetary success, Chance values his art by connecting with people. No matter the size of the audience, as long as people are there, Chance believes he can have an impact. It may not be the right choice for his check, but it’s the right choice for his heart. And that’s most important.
A TikTok video I watched
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This is how the United States tortures its enemies 😭😭
Something I keep thinking about
WHO TF ARE YOU? I’M A BRAT WHEN I’M BUMPIN THAT 💚
Yes, it’s true. We decided to go to the Sweat Tour. And when I tell you it was so much fun. I legit want to go again. I can’t stop thinking about it.
Charli xcx & Troye Sivan was actually the second consecutive concert we went to last week. The day before, we drove to Cleveland to see Vampire Weekend. And I’m sure you can imagine, they were VERY different vibes. For context, we sat next to a 50-year-old man at the Vampire Weekend show, and he talked to us about Pearl Jam and Emmylou Harris. He pointed to the sky during the chorus of “This Life” and fist-bumped us between songs.
The Sweat Tour, on the other hand, resembled the Kids’ Choice Awards. Slime-green looks everywhere. Various forms of bootlegged merch stamped with Charli’s “brat” tag and lyrics from her songs in the same sans serif font. My anxiety has aged out of being on the floor, so we sat up in the 200s with all the other people who bought their tickets a month before the show.
I wasn’t sure how Charli & Troye were going to split the time, but the show was sequenced so well. And I feel old saying this, but it was efficient too! I feel like we got out of there by 11 or 11:30. Still enough time to stop by Taco Bell and put in a pickup order for the Baja Blast gelato.
Shoutout to the homie Gabby for letting me borrow her bedazzled Boiler Room tee. I got a few compliments on it. I was honestly impressed by all the outfits and just the crowd overall. You could tell everyone wanted to be there, and they were determined to have a good time. Even the few times I had to slide out of our row to go to the bathroom, everyone was so kind!
And as the tour name promised, I did sweat. Charli & Troye kept their foot on our necks the entire time. And I liked the way it felt. More, please. Harder.
now I’m watching this boiler room and I’m obsessed.