It gets a tiny mention in all about love actually. I wish we could leave pic comments lol. End of p 5 reads “That process of investment wherein a loved one becomes important to us is called ‘cathexis’. In his book Peck rightly emphasizes that most of us ‘confuse cathecting with loving “
So beautiful and such important ideas here. We really only have so much time together. I especially liked the part about seeking new loving relationships constantly. I totally agree. It's never too late to connect with someone. Thank you for this
"How will I know if this relationship is supposed to continue?" and, “How will I know if you really love me?” really hit me. these are questions i've been asking myself *constantly* for awhile now, and to wholly denounce the idea that 'somebody's your friend for a reason, a season, or a lifetime' just felt so reassuring.
"The people who I pursue are people who are trying to pursue me." sometimes it's rly that simple, yet making and sustaining friends just kinda does feel so much more difficult, probably bc there's more intention, more focus, more ache to appreciate and be appreciated.
i'm excited to listen to the audio book bc whyyyy did i not know that existed!!! thank you for sharing this ❤️🔥❤️🔥
Yooo, this was fire. I loved it! I especially appreciated the section about friendship and the work it takes to maintain one. Ego is such a killer! I appreciate yall!
Yooooo this was amazing. Thank you both for inviting us into this wonderful conversation. I felt like I was in the room with y'all (I guess bouncing between Robert's and Alex's screens) and it felt warm, and intimate. Can't wait for Pt. 2!! 😊
I really love both of you. I wish I could tell you how much I needed this this morning. When I think of the men I want around me, around my son, I think of you and Robert. Thank you for these words this morning.
Thank you for inviting us into your home for this one. Felt like I pulled up with my tea and got to sit in on the most tender musings. Living a life grounded in love is the goal. But I find I need to allow myself space and time to understand just what that means and looks like as well as how that'll inevitably evolve with time.
The boys are back in towwwnn! What a fabulous read. I could almost hear the audio.
bell hooks ate my ass up on all about love. It was then that I realized I had only ever experienced cathexis
Now you got me googling words 💀💀
bell hooks used it. To mean when people care for you but don’t provide the all about love definition.
Do you remember which book, or was it a talk?
It gets a tiny mention in all about love actually. I wish we could leave pic comments lol. End of p 5 reads “That process of investment wherein a loved one becomes important to us is called ‘cathexis’. In his book Peck rightly emphasizes that most of us ‘confuse cathecting with loving “
See, time for me to tap back in! Thank you for sharing!
Same!! I could hear them talking, even though I am just meeting Alex for the first time!
It’s so good to meet you, thanks for being here!!
Oh yall would enjoy each other. Yall are both good people!
Same. It’s my pleasure!
So beautiful and such important ideas here. We really only have so much time together. I especially liked the part about seeking new loving relationships constantly. I totally agree. It's never too late to connect with someone. Thank you for this
Appreciate you, homie. If we only have a limited time here on earth, let's get all the love we can. Thanks for rocking with us 🙏🏽
you're right. It's never too late. Maybe I'm naive but I believe it.
Two men talking about love...AH, so glad I took the time to read this today. I appreciate you both so much!
Jor-El, thank you for making the time! And I’m so looking forward to spending more time with your work
This was delightful. I have been grappling with a major shift in relationships lately and this was like salve to my heart.
Me too! I read this twice for myself tbh
Mmm love that word “salve” we’re all taking care of each other 🫂
"How will I know if this relationship is supposed to continue?" and, “How will I know if you really love me?” really hit me. these are questions i've been asking myself *constantly* for awhile now, and to wholly denounce the idea that 'somebody's your friend for a reason, a season, or a lifetime' just felt so reassuring.
"The people who I pursue are people who are trying to pursue me." sometimes it's rly that simple, yet making and sustaining friends just kinda does feel so much more difficult, probably bc there's more intention, more focus, more ache to appreciate and be appreciated.
i'm excited to listen to the audio book bc whyyyy did i not know that existed!!! thank you for sharing this ❤️🔥❤️🔥
aww thank you!
Looking forward to reading this.
Hope you enjoy 🙏🏽
Love, love, loved this fellas! ❤️👏🏽
bell changed my whole damn life too lol
Thanks bro, you’re one of the Black men that makes writing here feel a hell of a lot safer 🫂
I appreciate that my guy!
You, Robert and Marc did the same for me. Now that list is longer and I’m grateful as hell for all the Black men putting themselves out here ✊🏽🥲
Yooo, this was fire. I loved it! I especially appreciated the section about friendship and the work it takes to maintain one. Ego is such a killer! I appreciate yall!
Thanks for reading. I really respect you as a writer so thanks for this
Don’t gas me bro 🥹
Understood. As soon as you stop writing stuff that makes me think. So prolly never 🫡
Thank you bro, really appreciate you spending time with this one
Yooooo this was amazing. Thank you both for inviting us into this wonderful conversation. I felt like I was in the room with y'all (I guess bouncing between Robert's and Alex's screens) and it felt warm, and intimate. Can't wait for Pt. 2!! 😊
Love you man, you and the homies have taught me how to love
Love you ❤️
I really love both of you. I wish I could tell you how much I needed this this morning. When I think of the men I want around me, around my son, I think of you and Robert. Thank you for these words this morning.
Holding these words man 🫂 thank you, grateful you’re with us in all of this
🫂 😭
Thank you for inviting us into your home for this one. Felt like I pulled up with my tea and got to sit in on the most tender musings. Living a life grounded in love is the goal. But I find I need to allow myself space and time to understand just what that means and looks like as well as how that'll inevitably evolve with time.
Come for tea!!!! I’m happy we’re on this journey together. Thanks for always helping to ground us in love 🫂
Damn this is beautiful. Gonna use to be in community with my distant homies.
thank you so much for this :)
Loved this! Thanks for sharing your hearts 🥰
aww thank you for reading :)
Thank you, Maggie. It’s such a gift!