If I’m driving people to the airport, I always play the same radio station. Magic 95.5 FM. Columbus’ Best R&B. It begins playing whenever I turn on my car, but I usually switch over to Bluetooth so I can listen to Spotify. But when I’m taking friends or family to the airport, I’d rather not be distracted with what to play during my final moments with people I love. I let the radio carry us wherever it may.
Usually, there’s very little talking on the way to the airport, especially depending on the time of day. Our friends JT and Tiffani visited this past week and had an early flight back to Asheville. Like no-cars-on-the-road early. We didn’t say much on the drive. But I could hear JT humming along to each song. I joined in.
Something we reflected on throughout the trip is how I’ve known JT for 12 years. He could’ve been anywhere in that car, and I would’ve known his voice. He feels music in his soul and can’t help but let it out—even if only gently.
With the minutes winding down on our time together, I began holding onto the songs that sound-tracked our final moments. I love the radio, but especially 95.5 FM, because there’s no telling what they’ll play next. In a span of 20 minutes, you could hear multiple eras of R&B, hip hop, and even gospel.
These are the songs we hummed along to as we trekked toward missing each other. With each song, I’ll remember my people. I hope you remember yours, too.
“ICU” by Coco Jones
“The Delta song,” whispered Elizabeth so only I could hear it. We always joke that they play Coco Jones’ “ICU" before every Delta flight. This song is a mainstay on 95.5 FM. I feel like they also play it every time we’re on our way to the airport, so we make that joke a lot. Also, “ICU” is one of those songs you can’t help but sing along to—often with your whole heart. I’m surprised we’re only humming it.
The song is about someone Jones can’t live without. In the first verse, she sings:
“Somethin' 'bout the way you just get me
I try and I don't 'cause I can't forget”
I feel known by how Elizabeth and I have our own language—something reserved only for us—and how I don’t have to explain myself to JT after all these years. When we met for lunch the first time, it became clear that we had a lot in common. Since then, our lives have continued to take on similar shapes.
Both Black men. Both from North Carolina. Both married. Both artists. Both trying to unlearn harmful teachings and push beyond the boundaries we’ve been handed.
And I look in the rear-view mirror as JT and Tiffani speak without words, and I smile to myself because he has someone who gets him, too. I often feel like the luckiest person in the world because I have people in my life who know me so intimately, and it’s beautiful knowing my homie is also receiving that kind of love.
I’m grateful that we’re given so many chances to practice love. To receive love. To know. And to be known. We’ve grown in so many beautiful ways, and it brings me immense joy that we haven’t grown apart.
“Frontin’” by Pharrell Williams & JAY-Z
I didn’t expect “Frontin’” to play. It felt out-of-character for 95.5 FM. But I’m definitely not mad at it. I can tell by the collective humming that no one else in the car is either.
“Frontin’” is one of those songs that is undeniably produced by The Neptunes. From the four-count start to the groovy keys throughout, it has all the characteristics of a Pharrell Williams and Chad Hugo song. JT is a producer and bonafide music geek, so, while he’s humming along, I know he’s also probably deconstructing the song in his head and thinking about all its influences. I love that about him.
In the song, Pharrell speaks to a girl he wants to be with and who he believes also wants to be with him. At the end of the first verse, he sings:
“So you think about a chance
You find yourself trying to do my dance
Maybe 'cause you love me”
JT and Tiffani were our first overnight house guests. We moved into our new home last summer. Since then, Elizabeth and I have been working to get our house to a place where we felt comfortable having people over. There was a little less pressure with JT and Tiffani because we know they love us, but we still wanted to make sure they felt welcome and had what they needed.
Having them in our city gave us the opportunity to show them the things and people we love and that we thought they might love, too. We read at the pool. They met our friends. We all went to Shut Up & Write. They even got to cuddle our cat, Cheech. These are the little moments that make up our everyday life together, and they did their best to keep up—for no other reason than they love us.
During their first morning here, JT and I played basketball together at the park near our house. They had woken up early to get to the airport the morning before—and as fun as I thought it would be to go to the park, I didn’t want JT to feel pressured to go. But he went, because he wanted to.
He joined me for a part of my morning that I usually do by myself. And I never knew my heart could feel so full while missing free throws. At this point, we’re too old to be fronting what we’re feeling. We know time is limited, and we’ll be damned if we don’t soak up all the love we can.
“My Boo - Hitman’s Club Mix” by Ghost Town DJs
As we pull into the airport, familiar words begin to play:
“Boy you should know that
I've got you on my mind
Your secret admirer
I've been watching you”
During my senior year of college in 2016, Ghost Town DJs’ “My Boo” had a resurgence because of the extremely viral Running Man Challenge. Wherever you were—at a party, at a restaurant, in the car—if this song came on, you would stop whatever you were doing and start dancing.
This came at a time when I knew the end was near. After four years of being able to hang out with JT and Elizabeth on campus whenever I wanted, these opportunities were quickly coming to a close. We had to cherish all the memories we had made and rush to make as many new memories as we could before I graduated.
Now, in these final moments, we once again have “My Boo” coming at a time when the end is near. But there’s no fear this time. Only satisfaction. Because not only have we seen each other in the last eight years, but we’ve witnessed some of our greatest days and most challenging times. Our friendships didn’t end when I graduated; we just needed each other in different ways.
When the COVID-19 pandemic sent us all inside, we found safe harbor in one another. As we’ve navigated relationships with friends and family, we’ve sat with each other and held space to feel everything we needed to feel. Although apart, we’ve found TV shows to watch together, finding time to discuss when we can. And when we talk on the phone, it’s never quick; hours later, we’re still laughing.
Years later, we’re still laughing.
And hopefully, decades from now, we’ll still all be together.
All still laughing.
As someone who never listens to the radio, and probably never will, it’s nice to read such a tender description of its love in someone else’s life.
Also this line 😮💨
“He feels music in his soul and can’t help but let it out—even if only gently.”
Alex, what a beautiful love letter to friendship. I’ve recently come back from a trip full of friendship across the ocean. I always find myself building a playlist to keep those memories and people close. Your words helped lighten the missing them. Thank you. 🙏