I’ve been listening to Saba since he first appeared on Chance the Rapper’s “Angels,” and last night, I got to join with others in discussing his second album, CARE FOR ME. Music can be many things, but I love when it’s an invitation to better understand ourselves and each other. That’s what this album seemed to be for Saba, and it’s what my dear friend, Koku Asamoah, guided us toward as he led the discussion for our second-ever Album Club.
Especially this early on, I’ve been telling people that I’m along for the ride just as much as the folks in attendance. As we continue, I’m excited to get more people leading conversations about the albums they love most—and as someone I often geek out about music with face-to-face and in our group chat, Koku was the perfect person to be our first guest facilitator.
CARE FOR ME isn’t an easy album to talk about; it’s Saba grieving the murder of his cousin, Walter “John Walt” Long Jr., who was also a member of the Pivot Gang rap collective along with Saba and others. Walter’s death serves as the impetus for the album and played a bigger role in the project’s formation than Saba initially realized.
I didn’t know what to expect from the conversation, especially in a room full of people, but I’m amazed at how open folks were as Koku used the album as a guide to explore our own experiences with loss, grief, and finding peace.
On “LIFE,” Saba shares how he believes death is obsessed with him. He expands on this line for Genius, noting how “the element of death haunts the writing of the song.” All of us have witnessed death in some way; its inevitability, as noted by Nykeia during last night’s discussion, is something that bonds us together.
As folks vulnerably shared their memories of loss—some wounds more recent than others—there was an emphasis placed on facing these memories instead of trying to avoid them. That’s one of the things I appreciate most about how Saba approached CARE FOR ME. He didn’t write around his pain; he wrote his pain as plainly as he could.
In studying for last night’s meeting, I spent the morning prior sitting with the album’s lyrics and making note of anything that stood out. This led me to journaling while I listened to “LIFE” on repeat. I let my pen run free as I dug up childhood memories I don’t always stop to reflect on. This helped me find language for how I consider these experiences and the ways they’ve shaped me as I’ve grown older.
There are no clean answers or endings, as one of the homies noted during our discussion. The goal of grieving isn’t to figure out the pain; it’s to make space for the pain to breathe so we, too, can breathe easier. It felt like a collective exhale as we acknowledged that everyone experiences and approaches pain differently, which means that our paths toward healing also look different.
The best we can do is hold space for each other to feel, and I’m grateful we had an opportunity to create that space for one another during last night’s Album Club.
The final track on CARE FOR ME is “HEAVEN ALL AROUND ME,” a song written from the perspective of Walter entering Heaven. And while the idea and existence of Heaven looks different for all of us, the room last night with chairs gathered all around resembled Heaven on Earth in a way that Taylor described with one word: healing.
The openness of last night’s conversation is a testament to Saba’s vulnerability on CARE FOR ME, the inviting spirit that Koku brings into the everyday, and everyone’s courage and generosity to see what this gathering could be. I’m so grateful and can’t wait to join back together in the new year. Our next meeting will be on Monday, January 5 at 7:30pm. I’ll share more details in the coming weeks!
For updates on future Album Club meetings, follow my Instagram and The Scatter Joy Project!
Even if you’re unable to join The Album Club in person, let’s continue the conversation in the comments. Feel free to answer any or all of the questions Koku outlined for last night’s discussion on Saba’s CARE FOR ME:
Which motifs, themes, or narrative threads stand out to you on the album?
What are some ways you personally deal with grief or emotional overwhelm?
Do you think a search for someone you’ve lost ever truly ends? Or is it something that continues in different forms throughout life?
What does “Heaven” look like for you, whether literally or as a personal source of peace and meaning?
I was prompted to listen to this album after reading this article (yes ik i'm very late 😭) because the themes of grief resonate with me. I was not disappointed in the mental imagery of depression and feeling lost.
Over time, I develop healthier coping mechanisms for dealing with heavier emotions, like writing scripts for my substack. I used to try to numb it through drugs and isolation until I felt ”better”.
Losing someone close to me cuts me deep, but I fill that void with the aspects I love and miss about them. They become a part of me, so their memory will linger longer.
Heaven is peace. When I think of my loved ones in heaven, I see the peace they fought so hard for in the physical plane.
Love this!! Thank you for allowing space and breaking down what the album means to you!