27 Comments
User's avatar
Rachel Leeke Alexis's avatar

The irony of people who repeat homophobic phrases like “pause” and “no homo” is that in trying to distance yourself gay sex is CONSTANTLY on your mind. It's honestly exhausting, bewildering, and shocking people can not see it. Thank you for the well written share.

Alex Lewis's avatar

That’s it ☝🏽 like brothers you’re not doing what you’re trying to do. Thank you so much for reading!

15thCenturyFeminist's avatar

This is a phenomenal piece. “Who would I be if I unlearned all the things I’ve learned without my permission?" is such an important question. Thank you for writing this.

Alex Lewis's avatar

Thank you so much for reading & sharing such kind words! Punch Me Up to the Gods is an incredible book. Absolutely would recommend. I wish I could’ve shared every line Brian Broome wrote.

15thCenturyFeminist's avatar

Absolutely adding it to my TBR, thanks for the recommendation!

Jonathan Jacobs's avatar

"As bell hooks wrote in The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love, 'No male successfully measures up to patriarchal standards without engaging in an ongoing practice of self-betrayal.'"

I've got this same passage highlighted in my copy of the book.

Alex Lewis's avatar

Really hoping to reread it this year!

Nikki D'Ambrosio's avatar

"I picked up mannerisms and speech patterns that don’t make me less of a man; they expand upon what manhood can be." So so beautiful. I loved reading this. Thank you for sharing, Alex :)

Alex Lewis's avatar

Thank you, Nikki! So grateful you took the time to read it 🥹🥲

Dia Lupo's avatar

Welp... I cried

Alex Lewis's avatar

Wait we can’t both cry

Goddess Amy's avatar

This is so good!!🔥🔥

Alex Lewis's avatar

Thank you, Amy! I appreciate you making the time to read this one!

Onyi Ozoma's avatar

This was soooooo good!! A great reflection on Black masculinity, nuance, definitely resonated with me growing up with so many women making significant impact on me and still growing up with hyper masculine standards. And the ending was the best way to balance it. Thank you for this

Alex Lewis's avatar

Thank you, Onyi! I’m so grateful you made the time to read this one, and I’m glad it connected with you!

Jason Herndon's avatar

As HOV might say: Yeah, A, talk that shit.

Alex Lewis's avatar

Just took me back to the Jeezy snowman tee I convinced my mom to buy me in middle school. Thanks for the love 🙏🏽

Holly Starley's avatar

Well, damn. This is good.

Alex Lewis's avatar

Ah thank you!!!

Nick Simard's avatar

Loved this one. A lot of great references sprinkled throughout, which helps tell your story. Well done!

Alex Lewis's avatar

Thank you, Nick. I appreciate you!

Marc Typo's avatar

Talk that talk. Loved this on so many levels. Glad I found this, and glad I found you.

Alex Lewis's avatar

Thank you for reading, Marc! So happy to meet you!

Pách Deng's avatar

Very interesting and thought-provoking piece Alex, got me really thinking.

Alex Lewis's avatar

Thank you so much for reading, I really appreciate it!

Elden's avatar

“The first act of violence that patriarchy demands of males is not violence toward women. Instead patriarchy demands of all males that they engage in acts of psychic self-mutilation, that they kill off the emotional parts of themselves. If an individual is not successful in emotionally crippling himself, he can count on patriarchal men to enact rituals of power that will assault his self-esteem.”

bell hooks

Your piece feels like a passageway toward rituals of truer power that include & recentrate “expand”ing renditions of manhood/ masculine expression beyond the confines of patriarchal cages.

Thank you.