36 Comments
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Robert the contemplative's avatar

This was so deeply beautiful. I wish I could wrap each paragraph around me like a blanket

Alex Lewis's avatar

Aw thanks brother 🫂

daisy cashin's avatar

Ya know.. apart from the general sturdiness and tenderness that you generally bring in your writing.. this was also just a perfect essay as far as balance and rhythm and research. I stand in envy my friend. Well done.

Shivani's avatar

Alex, this was so powerful. I have found my relationship with God has evolved a lot in the past few years. For now, I've landed on that it is a 1:1 relationship with something larger than me that helps me stay grounded despite the fact that I don't prescribe to a specific faith. It's more so a practice for me because I've found prayer, a conversation with God, to be such an important part of my life. I deeply appreciate your transparent telling of your journey. And I especially appreciate how held I felt the whole read through :) Sending you ease, my friend.

Alex Lewis's avatar

I always admire how you approach matters of life with such care. This is beautifully explained and something I see so much of myself in. I’m glad we’re navigating this journey together. Thank you for always believing in me and my work.

Nya S Abernathy's avatar

Thank you for sharing this, Alex. I'm catching the Spirit of what you are saying. I am a preacher who has decidedly stopped attending church who shares the good news of Jesus through neutron stars, mother trees, and the many shapes of water. A Pentecostal Mystic who pulls cards and sings Fred Hammond (his Something Bout Love album ended a musical era imo). I dream with folks in a variety of circles - the church-oriented ones I feel on the fringes of while knowing (because of the people, not the institution) I still belong. Knowing that the perspective from where I am seeks to honor how I've been formed *and* the mystery beyond the boxes I was formed in. I'm sharing all of this because I've looked around this liminal space I'm inhabiting and felt so uncomfortable recently. I have a nagging story in my head that says everyone has made a "clear choice" except me...as if where and how I am right now isn't an intentional choice in and of itself. It's good to hear from others (adding you to this list today!) that this thing, this mark on my soul is both tattoo and scar - some things I choose to leave etched in me for good and some things have been wounds that healed. That the faith of my mothers and the church experiences of Love will never not be part of how I speak, live, move, and have my being. Thanks Alex, Love to you and yours 💙

Alex Lewis's avatar

Thank you for reading, Nya. And thank you for so beautifully reminding me I'm not alone. These words are a balm, and I'm so grateful you chose to share them with me. There's tension in this in-between, and there's also beauty. This is a wonderful glimpse of that. I'm honored you made time for my work. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

William Adolphus Dungee Jr.'s avatar

Alex, thank you for sharing. This is a powerful piece that I will sit with and soak in for a while. Thank you again.

Jack Edward Burton's avatar

This was a lovely read as usual Alex - I know I am worlds apart across the ocean but the relationship you hold with God holds true to me too. Sunday school tales and Primary school assemblies made me who I am in my core.

Alex Lewis's avatar

Thank you, Jack. I appreciate you connecting with these words.

Dave L.'s avatar

This was great and reminds me what I love about reading: someone else expressing what you feel but have never been able to express!

Alex Lewis's avatar

I’m honored, man. Thank you. Always a gift when I can help put words to something for someone else.

Dave L.'s avatar

I kicked this to my sister and she had the same reaction as I did. Which produced a back and forth where I realized how helpful having that native language has been in working with athletes who have a strong faith. I wouldn't consider myself a current resident of Christianity, but I can't see myself ever forgetting how to converse fluently in the language!

Alex Lewis's avatar

So much goes into even learning that language. It’s deeply embedded at this point.

Not to throw another piece at you, but since you mentioned working with athletes who have a strong faith, I wrote this essay about athletes using their “platform” earlier this year: https://www.feelslikehome.site/p/gods-favorite-team

Dave L.'s avatar

Thanks! Enjoyed that one, too!

Fred Curtis's avatar

Beautiful writing

Alex Lewis's avatar

Thanks, Fred. I appreciate you reading!

alix's avatar

i kept this piece in my inbox for the last two weeks until i was really ready for the read. what a perfectly flowing + reflective essay, alex!

Alex Lewis's avatar

I appreciate you making time for it and that it’s something you even wanted to save to spend time with! Thank you so much for the kind words 🥲

Shef Tobi 👨🏽‍🍳's avatar

yet to see someone describe my relationship with christianity this way. Whenever people ask me why i don’t enrol to the faith as they do—i’ll refer them to this essay.

Alex Lewis's avatar

It’s been immensely helpful for me to consider my relationship to faith in this way. I feel less cynical like it’s possible for me to extend more grace. Appreciate you reading, fam.

Shef Tobi 👨🏽‍🍳's avatar

fr bro. You’re the voice of the people. And i sincerely appreciate you turning emotions i can’t pen down into actual words.

“They're who I think of when I think of God.”

“I'm the homies who have no religion and still practice love, care, and compassion.”

“Christianity is my first language, and it won't be my last.”

i fucking love you Alex! fr fr!

Alex Lewis's avatar

My guy!!! Love you too 🫂

Risa Luzardo's avatar

I feel seen after reading this. These are powerful words, Alex. Thank you.

Alex Lewis's avatar

I appreciate you reading, Risa. It means the world. Thank you!

Annika's avatar

I sent this to my grandmothers, eighty-year-old lesbians who run our Episcopal parish, it made them both cry. The intersection of queerness and faith is something so so personal, but you've managed to articulate it in a way that reflects the specificity of your lived experience while also expressing it in a way that's so easy to connect your own experience to. This is an incredible essay, and also a fantastic sermon.

Alex Lewis's avatar

Whew, Annika. I can’t explain how this comment is blessing me. I always invite people to share my work with someone special to them, and this is a beautiful example of that. I’m grateful it connected with them and you. Thank you for this gift.

Kent Thomas's avatar

Thank you, Alex. I got chills near the end ❤️

Alex Lewis's avatar

Thanks for reading, Kent. I appreciate you making for this one.

Sophie's avatar

so beautiful. one of the best long-form pieces of Christianity-related writing i've seen in a while

Alex Lewis's avatar

That’s so kind. Thank you, Sophie. I’m honored 🥺

Alexis the Scribbler <3's avatar

Thank you, as always for finding the words. 💜

Alex Lewis's avatar

Thank you for reading them 🙏🏽

earth&sky's avatar

Beautiful and powerful. Thank you for sharing.

Alex Lewis's avatar

I appreciate you reading, thank you!